| Tuesday, April 25, 2006 |
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What to do, what to do.... |
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God I'm bored. I need something FUN to do. I don't think I am going to get it in Iowa City this weekend. I'll rub elbows with the right people, schmooze with the district board, have a glass of wine with dinner, and smile, smile, smile. That's what they pay me for. Meanwhile, back at home... the laundry is not fun, the dishes aren't fun. I can't even skweek any fun out of the treadmill today, with or without Sex and the City. I'm even bored blogging. I looked at Funjet's website to see if there were any deals from KC to Cancun for $39 a person. No such luck. I need a friggin vacation. I need a beach - that is NOT Bloomington at Clinton. I need an ocean beach, and too much sun, and cute mexican boys bringing me watered-down drinks that all taste the same whether they are pina coladas or funky monkeys. Every day in Kansas is tasting the same, whether it's guzzling Stormwatch Ale (yummy) at FSB with Gypsy or planting tomatoes and basil and dreaming of far off summer salads on the deck with my chums or trying to find that goddam snake in the henhouse so I can hack it to bits or obsessing over softball sized hail that keeps missing my overly-insured truck. What to do? Have I been at the top of the roller coaster for so long that the usual stuff is not a thrill? I have had what feels like many trips up the hill, and some scary plummets hurtling along the rickety tracks to the bottom, only to slowly (clickclickclickclick) make the climb back to the top. Right now feels like a slow climb to the top, then you have to go around a bend when you get up there, survey the park from the top for a moment, building even more anticipation of the ride you are about to take back down so that you can ride that momentum over the next small hill, then just when you are used to the jostling you get, you are slammed into the "get off the ride area", where you breathlessly and shakily step out of your car and decide if you're going to get back in line and do it again, or wander around until you find a ride with a short line. The short line rides are not nearly as fun, or scary. And sometimes that is just fine.
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| posted by Rosie @ 4/25/2006 10:05:00 AM |
3 comments
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| Monday, April 24, 2006 |
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Finished |
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I just ate a whole bag of soy chips, which I buy because they are not so horrible to eat, but I can also eat a whole bag of them and not feel like I have wasted my fat club membership at the Weight Control Research Project with my pals at the Energy Balance Lab, a grant-funded project of the Scheifelbush Lifespan Intitute at the University of Kansas. Whew! So, I ate the whole thing while I watched the Weather Channel and prayed for a tornado to wipe out my barn so State Farm will buy me a new one. I can finish things! Yesterday, I finished a baby hat. Two weeks ago I finished with the Home Town - a despisable, inbred armpit in Central Kansas that makes my skin crawl to think about it, and I have had to think about it alot lately. While having gluttonous family dinner the night before the auction-goers raped me in Topeka, icky-goody2shoes girl from hometown appears by my beaming mother's side, while I wear overalls, pigtails, BO, and a stunning red, white, and blue bicentennial belt, complete with eagle buckle. I looked smashing, and smashed. Had my mother not heard a word I said about how little I cared for all but 2 people in my hometown? Just 30 minutes earlier while we sat at the bar? G2S girl has recently moved south of me not nearly far enough and she knows the exhusband. GOODY! Small talk, blah blah blah..... me: so, is there any news about our 20th class reunion that should be coming up next month? G2S girl: Oh, we had that last year at 19. I guess we couldn't find you. Is it that fucking hard to find a person whose name is the same as it was for 13 years of school together (yes, K-12 in the same armpit) who lives in the same fucking county she ran away to 20 years ago? Good Lord - there were only 31 of us anyway! I guess that vote we took 9.87 years ago at our 10 year, which we used to declare our class reunion separate from the Every Five Years on the Five Years School Reunion, was just to ensure that I wouldn't show up for our 19th, because I was waiting for the full 10 years to go by before I had to see all those twits again. I'm done. Finito! While I was recovering from the shock of once again never fitting in with the hometown crowd, although they chose to remind me before I could shun them, my mother gleefully exchanged numbers, etc. with G2S girl. So, I will never really have closure with the armpit of my past, but I can smear deoderant and antiperspirant on it and act like it smells fresh as a rose. At least when you have an armpit, you can be pretty sure what part of yourself is going to stink first.
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| posted by Rosie @ 4/24/2006 12:12:00 PM |
1 comments
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| Wednesday, April 19, 2006 |
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Driving back to Normaltown |
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There was a wasp in my coffee this morning. The damn thing was flying around upstairs last night and somwhow decided that crawling into the coffee pot was a good thing to do. I don't know if he died before or after he was drowned in scalding hot caffeine (I have a separate water receptacle so I don't actually put water in the carafe to make coffee). It reminded me of a Sex and the City I saw yesterday when Charlotte and Trey were fighting and she said "We're WASPs, WASPs don't fight." One of my favorite Springsteen songs is on XM - Hungry Heart. Got a wife and kids in baltimore jack I went out for a ride and I never went back Like a river that don’t know where it’s flowing I took a wrong turn and I just kept going Everybody’s got a hungry heart Everybody’s got a hungry heart Lay down your money and you play your part Everybody’s got a hungry heart I met her in a kingstown bar We fell in love I knew it had to end We took what we had and we ripped it apart Now here I am down in kingstone again Everybody’s got a hungry heart...Everybody needs a place to rest Everybody wants to have a home Don’t make no difference what nobody says Ain’t nobody like to be alone Everybody’s got a hungry heart... Hearing that reminds me of another of my favorite Springsteen songs - Reason to Believe, but I like the Beat Farmers' version best. Which reminds me of a great Beat Farmers song - Happy Boy. It goes like this: I was walkin' down the street on a sunny day Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba A feeling in my bones that I'll have my way Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy) Well I'm a happy boy (happy boy) Oh ain't it good when things are going your way, hey hey? My little dog spot got hit by a car Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba Put his guts in a box and put him in a drawer Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba I forgot all about it for a month and a half Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba I looked in the drawer and started to laugh Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba I'll sing it for you sometime. This really all came to mind because Mandy brought up the most leathery, stinky, stiff dead cat yesterday, and I was trying to figure out what to do with it (other than let her continue gnawing on it) and I thought about Country Dick and the Beat Farmers and putting it in a drawer. It went in the trash instead, but now I think I should have buried it, giving it a proper sendoff. I guess I could've called the knacker, but $22 seems like a lot to get rid of a dead stray cat. Maybe they would've taken the wasp, too. I almost got that damn black snake in the hen house cut in half yesterday, but he (of course it's a HE) escaped in its slithery, egg-eating bastard way. I'm on it though, with an obsessive vigilance. He'll wish I had cooked his rabbit in a pot on the stove when I'm done with him. So, on a lighthearted note today, I will remind you that Country Dick lives on in our hearts and souls, although he died on stage in 1995. He was friggin crazy! Ain't it good when things are going your way, hey hey. Whoa. I got way sidetracked by a Springsteen song. Anyhoo, things are getting back to their old weird ways and this kitty is landing on her feet, unlike the one that landed in my trash. Thanks for your support during these wacky times. I'm putting on some boots to patrol the hen house. I'll let you know what happens....
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| posted by Rosie @ 4/19/2006 09:54:00 AM |
4 comments
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| Wednesday, April 12, 2006 |
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The dam broke today |
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To my dedicated readers, thank you for noticing that I have not written in a while. I was busy failing at everything I touched. I liquidated my business and now owe other people another $10K, and while I was devoting all of my emotional energy to getting thru that, my cow died, so we had to have the knacker come get its carcass. Then, because I was not already a wreck enough, I got a letter from the Behavioral Sciences Regulatory Board that although I passed the licensing exam with a great score, I did not take it earlier enough so that my results could be delivered to the BSRB by my deadline and it will now cost me another $100 to get my fucking license that I don't need anyway!!!!!!! So, my dam broke today. I freaked out on the phone with a complete stranger who was really nice about the whole thing while I sobbed uncontrollably and apologized profusely, when I wasn't berating myself, that is. That poor lady. I was telling Gypsy about some thing I saw on the news recently, where a cat was way too high up in a tree and someone was videoing the rescue attempt. The newscasters were all atwitter about cats ALWAYS landing on their feet. Well, this friggin cat falls about 50 feeet out of this tree, lands on its back, bounces about 4 feet in the air and twists while up there, THEN landed on its feet and skeedaddled away from the scene. I have fallen, landed on my back, and now I am bouncing up again and trying to get twisted around enough to land on my feet. In the meantime, it felt really good to throw a bag of green bell peppers across the kitchen, pulverizing them on impact, with nary a mess to clean up since they were bagged! I just finished The Secret Life of Bees, which did not help my emotional state, but rather got me worked into a frenzy about my mother. I am glad that I did not have jars of honey for ammo, as that would've been a real pain in the ass to clean up. So stay tuned readers, as I attempt to get my shit scraped into a pile and carry on with a year that is actually getting worse than the last one, although my mother-in-law promised it had to get better. Oh wait, that's right. I haven't spoken to her since she yelled at me at 3 in the morning for being a crappy wife, while she was only there to borrow money from me. The NERVE!!!!!! Don't worry, I am pretty sure that like that Doctor Jean chick on X-Men, I will rise from the "ashes" of the dam breaking and return to open up a can of whoopass on the world. I just want to run off camera for a while and lick my wounds under a lilac bush, lying in the cool dirt against the foundation, where I can see who goes by while I hide in the shadows.
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| posted by Rosie @ 4/12/2006 05:36:00 PM |
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