Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The dam broke today
To my dedicated readers, thank you for noticing that I have not written in a while. I was busy failing at everything I touched. I liquidated my business and now owe other people another $10K, and while I was devoting all of my emotional energy to getting thru that, my cow died, so we had to have the knacker come get its carcass. Then, because I was not already a wreck enough, I got a letter from the Behavioral Sciences Regulatory Board that although I passed the licensing exam with a great score, I did not take it earlier enough so that my results could be delivered to the BSRB by my deadline and it will now cost me another $100 to get my fucking license that I don't need anyway!!!!!!!

So, my dam broke today. I freaked out on the phone with a complete stranger who was really nice about the whole thing while I sobbed uncontrollably and apologized profusely, when I wasn't berating myself, that is. That poor lady.

I was telling Gypsy about some thing I saw on the news recently, where a cat was way too high up in a tree and someone was videoing the rescue attempt. The newscasters were all atwitter about cats ALWAYS landing on their feet. Well, this friggin cat falls about 50 feeet out of this tree, lands on its back, bounces about 4 feet in the air and twists while up there, THEN landed on its feet and skeedaddled away from the scene.

I have fallen, landed on my back, and now I am bouncing up again and trying to get twisted around enough to land on my feet. In the meantime, it felt really good to throw a bag of green bell peppers across the kitchen, pulverizing them on impact, with nary a mess to clean up since they were bagged! I just finished The Secret Life of Bees, which did not help my emotional state, but rather got me worked into a frenzy about my mother. I am glad that I did not have jars of honey for ammo, as that would've been a real pain in the ass to clean up.

So stay tuned readers, as I attempt to get my shit scraped into a pile and carry on with a year that is actually getting worse than the last one, although my mother-in-law promised it had to get better. Oh wait, that's right. I haven't spoken to her since she yelled at me at 3 in the morning for being a crappy wife, while she was only there to borrow money from me. The NERVE!!!!!!

Don't worry, I am pretty sure that like that Doctor Jean chick on X-Men, I will rise from the "ashes" of the dam breaking and return to open up a can of whoopass on the world. I just want to run off camera for a while and lick my wounds under a lilac bush, lying in the cool dirt against the foundation, where I can see who goes by while I hide in the shadows.
posted by Rosie @ 4/12/2006 05:36:00 PM

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