| Monday, April 24, 2006 |
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Finished |
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I just ate a whole bag of soy chips, which I buy because they are not so horrible to eat, but I can also eat a whole bag of them and not feel like I have wasted my fat club membership at the Weight Control Research Project with my pals at the Energy Balance Lab, a grant-funded project of the Scheifelbush Lifespan Intitute at the University of Kansas. Whew! So, I ate the whole thing while I watched the Weather Channel and prayed for a tornado to wipe out my barn so State Farm will buy me a new one. I can finish things! Yesterday, I finished a baby hat. Two weeks ago I finished with the Home Town - a despisable, inbred armpit in Central Kansas that makes my skin crawl to think about it, and I have had to think about it alot lately. While having gluttonous family dinner the night before the auction-goers raped me in Topeka, icky-goody2shoes girl from hometown appears by my beaming mother's side, while I wear overalls, pigtails, BO, and a stunning red, white, and blue bicentennial belt, complete with eagle buckle. I looked smashing, and smashed. Had my mother not heard a word I said about how little I cared for all but 2 people in my hometown? Just 30 minutes earlier while we sat at the bar? G2S girl has recently moved south of me not nearly far enough and she knows the exhusband. GOODY! Small talk, blah blah blah..... me: so, is there any news about our 20th class reunion that should be coming up next month? G2S girl: Oh, we had that last year at 19. I guess we couldn't find you. Is it that fucking hard to find a person whose name is the same as it was for 13 years of school together (yes, K-12 in the same armpit) who lives in the same fucking county she ran away to 20 years ago? Good Lord - there were only 31 of us anyway! I guess that vote we took 9.87 years ago at our 10 year, which we used to declare our class reunion separate from the Every Five Years on the Five Years School Reunion, was just to ensure that I wouldn't show up for our 19th, because I was waiting for the full 10 years to go by before I had to see all those twits again. I'm done. Finito! While I was recovering from the shock of once again never fitting in with the hometown crowd, although they chose to remind me before I could shun them, my mother gleefully exchanged numbers, etc. with G2S girl. So, I will never really have closure with the armpit of my past, but I can smear deoderant and antiperspirant on it and act like it smells fresh as a rose. At least when you have an armpit, you can be pretty sure what part of yourself is going to stink first.
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| posted by Rosie @ 4/24/2006 12:12:00 PM |
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1 Comments:
At 10:10 AM,
Anonymous said…
You know what? Screw em. They aren't worth your time.
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