Monday, October 02, 2006

On a Bender
I love Futurama. I am watching right now. I watch at least once a day, usually with the 8-year-old son. Lately I have felt like Bender, the endearing clepto/alky robot who was built to bend. When Bender runs low on alky, he just doesn't function well. I have been low on party time as of late and also am not functioning well. Even thinking of this made me worried about myself. Does wanting to go get loaded with my pals make me an alcoholic? Crap - I just blew the keg of Rosie's Riveting Rye as I paused to refresh the Dala-mug. Anyway, I decided that I do not have a problem with The Drink, but rather I have a problem with The Gab. I miss my friends. I need to do some serious sitting around pounding beers and catching up, especially on all the old stories that we always tell that I haven't heard in a while.
I was lamenting with Gypsy earlier tonight that we are suddenly acting very responsibly: task-mistressing allthedamntime. I joked over the weekend (working in Iowa City) with a person that I met who was fasting, that I am dabbling in a spiritual practice I call sleep deprivation. Like fasting, it puts your mind in a very different place. Fasting is supposed to cut away the superficial flesh of one's daily routine, so that the faster can experience life in their bones. Not sleeping can do the same thing, right? What can bring one more in tune to the mundane cycles of daily living than going thru the motions while one is in a detached state of somnambulance? It's like a chance to step outside of yourself and watch yourself behave in the most vulnerable (to our own weirdnesses and impulses) and preposterous of ways! Like when I started whining at church Sunday about how my brain feels like swiss cheese and my thoughts keep falling out the holes to a man who I knew had suffered a horrible, debilitating brain injury when a steel rod got thrown through his skull and was then successfully removed. I just watched from right outside myself as I said more and more stupid things to this kind, gentle, man, who told me I was under a lot of stress and probably needed to back off a bit on the workload. He was full of Grace. I was full of caffeine. I wanted to be full of bloody maries.
posted by Rosie @ 10/02/2006 10:17:00 PM

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