| Thursday, February 23, 2006 |
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WHAT size? |
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I wrote this the morning of Valentine's Day... Last night I went and watched the KU v OSU game at my favorite watering hole - The Red Lyon. I DO mean favorite watering hole, because I am on a hard-core diet that is part of a research study (yes! getting paid to lose weight!) and I am not supposed to drink alcohol for 12 weeks (I goofed once and lost 3.5 pounds that week anyway. Is red wine a mysterious diet drug?) So, I am sitting there alternating diet coke and water while my friends glug down beer/whiskey/and a drink called a duck fart (why would you ever put something called a duck fart in your mouth?) and I notice brightly colored itty bitty pieces of sparkle on our table. Being a magpie by nature, I pick one up to examine it and decide if it needs to come back to my nest. And what is it? It's a "fun size" snickers, barely big enough to bother with. I was starting to lose interest in the game except for all the drunken Eddie Sutton stories that the announcers were telling and I began to become enraged. What is so friggin fun about a candy bar that is so small one could swallow it whole without having melted any of the chocolate off the outside? Is it "fun size" because it is petite, like one of those tart cheerleaders flouncing across the screen? Do things have to be miniature to be fun? Why isn't there a snickers the size of a loaf of wonder bread that needs hacked apart with a chainsaw so that you can share it with 38 friends - now that would be friggin fun! Not this microscopic speck of chocolate with one peanut and 4 mouse turds in it - seriously NOT fun. It's just another subtle marketing campaign designed to undermine my self-esteem and convince me to have drastic surgery to make myself more fun. Well, I have news for the snickers people, I am on to them, their game, and their wicked ways, and I am one helluva lot of fun at 5'9" and 22 pounds less than I was a month a go. Bigger is not better, but smaller does not mean fun, except in the case of baby animals - they are fun. And cute. I like ducks.Happy Vday, and think twice before you put something "fun" in your mouth today. "Fun size" is definitely going on the DISLIKE list.
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| posted by Rosie @ 2/23/2006 10:37:00 AM |
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1 Comments:
At 7:41 AM,
Anonymous said…
It is MISSOURA!!! I know as a 6th generation Missouran whose family was here when they named the state and whose GGGGuncle Cole County is named after can guarantee it.
I love the way kansasans tell us what is wrong here....look in the mirror and see your faults and get some humility.....
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